Dr. Shalini Miriam Ipe, MD
3 min readFeb 27, 2022

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Working women?

See,even i said it! Working women?Have you heard ever heard"working man"?.You think the day for us "working women" starts with wanting to look good?Painting on a face,good clothes,thousand products and uncomfortable high heels?
It doesn't,unless the job demands it.

A man's day often involves thinking of things they need to get through the day,while a working woman's brain processes the same for every person in her house.(maybe even her maid's house )

Women shouldn't work outside their homes. We aren't empowered,nor are we held in equal stead as our male colleagues.We aren't part of their secret male club.Women have longer leaves from work they say.Apparently only women can give birth ! Absence from work to nurture sick children,again a mother's responsibility. From a corporate's point of view, you have already been marked for failure if you haven't gotten your tubes tied!

As a doctor,even when I am accompanied by my junior most male postgraduate, they assume I am a nurse. I have answered to everything from "sister " to "sh sh shhhhhh" which is our malayalee way of addressing strangers you don't think deserves respect.Terms like lady doctor are often used.why not just doctor,?Can your illness tell the difference?

A woman driver? The accident happened because her car kissed the wall.A male driver? Well the wall fell on the car,as he was negotiating his car to save the lives of a civilian,a bike rider and a cat! We have since time learnt to ignore the" kathakali mudhras "and eye rolling that is meant to show us we aren't allowed in the driver seat. How can a woman ever drive a car?that too with a clutch,break,gear box and lights?

And for those of us who have working parents,our lives are dependent on our maids.They are the ones who give us the work life balance.As women we are accustomed to swallowing whatever we have left of our pride,to deal with everything in life.Our parents,our maids,our spouse,our kids,often at the cost of our identity. The older we get the lesser our circle.We' d have by then lost ourselves in other people.

You point out that it's taking a toll on you,or even think of hinting at it,it's again the women who tell us stories of what they gave up to bring up their families.

I have stayed back to look after patients when my own children were sick.Are we distracted then?Are we messed up? The answer is no,because we are as professionally equipped as our male counterparts.

I write this for all the women I know.All those women who have helped me at home ,to raise me kids.All women like me who are told mothers are heroes .All women who struggle to see themselves as individuals in all this mess.All those who have burnt the candle at both ends.Its not us,it's them! We are people too, with lives and friends and hobbies.We need help,we get tired,we fall short,we do wrong.Dont glorify us,don't question us, don't make us ask.Just step up,all of you! Talk to your kids and teach them that we re also vulnerable,tired,hungry,selfish,lazy .We are also human like them and it's ok to be so!

Will there ever be a reprieve? Will we find equal rights? Equal opportunities or promotions? No we won't,like racism,nobody talks to you about it. Things won't change for a longtime until the male dominated work space grows a pair! Pardon my French,I meant mammary glands and a pregnant belly!

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Dr. Shalini Miriam Ipe, MD

Anesthesiologist, MOSC Medical College Hospital, Kolenchery